I can't tell that person to stop because if I do, then I'm a real bitch!! I really don't deserve any love then. All I am confident of now, is that everything that I felt was just temporary, to recoup for something that's missing in me. I have become the 'criminal' in replacing that empty hole with something that I didn't even need. I did it to get myself out of the mess or s**t that I got myself into.

Now things have gone a little over the board and I don't know how to stop it, because I know I will lose something. I've lost enough and I don't think I wanna lose it. But since I've lost enough, maybe it's alright to lose another?? NO!! I can't think this way... But.......

Looking at so many people around me, I can't help but feel envious. Very envious. The blog entries, the photos, the messages and so on!! I just wish I'm in their shoes. An experience that I really want to go through and just feel something.. But it's going to take me a long long time to accept it just because of my 'brain'.... Those psycho messages in me..

Just another paper.. a subject that I've always done real bad in - Law!!! I'm supposed to be studying now since the paper's just another 3.5 hours away but I really have no more motivation. I've remembered what I could and understood what I could. I've done my best for the past 4 papers and I'm really crossing my fingers. It's only my 1st semester here, and it's alright if I'm not in Dean's List. I just need a cumulative 3.0 and that's all I'm satisfied and I will work doubly hard from next semester onwards..

Christmas is just a week away and I've not totally gone present hunting! Paris trip also coming up soon and it nearly slipped my mind =x. Celebrating both New Year and birthday in Paris, with the later at 2 other cities.. What are my wishlists?? Have been cracking up my brains and just digging and walking and starring at many things even blank walls, just to come up with a list.. And guess what?? I really couldn't think of anything, because I have everything that I need. The rest are just 'wants' and not the necessities of my life. I'll grow out of it very soon.

If any of you 'die die' wanna give me a present, just send an ang bao (red packet) with any amount and I'll use the money for my school or the basic necessities like sweaters, boots, bags and bla bla bla, instead of cracking your brains and thinking if I will ever use it after I receive it.. Good investment yeah?? Haha. Then again, I'm sure no one will do that. I'm sure people will 'die die' get something. Haha... But really, if you have 'die die' must give me something, just write me an email or even just wish me on Facebook. Or else, buy something on my behalf and donate it to charity. I will love you to bits =P

But I will still post my wishlist in my next entry.. Photos have already been carefully selected!!

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