Uhhuh.....
Yesterday's church service was probably a little better for me.. I nearly fell asleep during sermon because I really can't stay awake for any sermons (it's not just this pastor but any).. But when I shut my eyes, I was shocked at what was in the dark.. I don't remember staring at it anywhere that becomes a white pigment in the dark.. But I was elated when I saw it.. Come to think of it, I have always loved the story of the "Footprints in the sand". But it wasn't a dream for me. I didn't fall sleep during the sermon. All we were asked to do, "let's close our eyes and pray", and I saw footprints.. It lasted for so long.. I couldn't help but tear with joy. It was a moment of happiness and peace for me, but yet I know that all I want to do is submit to Him.. But I'm still happy.. Maybe things will start changing for the better...
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When it comes to discussing about something that I never really want to discuss, I'm really bad at it because I choose not to believe in it. But apparently, someone may have hit the right spot, but it seems to me that I'm the one who didn't want to consider it...
But I do realize that it's not because I'm bad at it, but I'm scared of acknowledging the truth. Reason being, I'm scared of pain.. And I choose not to take this route because I know I won't do it well in a way or rather I'm scared of doing it to perfection that breaks the line...
Plus nothing's really coming out right now so I don't want to ponder about it too much for the moment.. I think I'm pretty happy with what's going on right now and I hope it remains this way until I know the time is ripe enough for me to get out of my shell, who knows I may be able to handle it with so much 'perfection'.. I think I love being in my shell now.. Haha...
Monday, November 03, 2008 ; 6:46 PM
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