The flu bug is in season and I finally caught it -_-"'

I feel so terrible.. Sore throat and blocked nose.. And i got an exam next week.. Oh gosh... I need so much energy but I've been so tired because I'm sick.......

Question: Why can't a boy and a girl ever remain as friends? Is it true that only "boy-girl relationship" exist in our dictionary?? And when we actually call the opposite friends, I realized that we are not even friends.. just hi-bye friends.. Does that mean in order to be friends with the opposite sex, we can only be hi-bye friends??? Hmm... Complicated but I'm not playing along.. Because this is not about play... It hurts!!

Oh yeah I do have opposite sex friends who ended up being my brothers.. Dangz... And now that I'm in states, I've had more brothers.. Haha.. But nice.. Haha.. I guess I have came across really nice girlfriends (bitchy but really nice.. not gossipy haha) and nice brothers and nice 'boy'friends. haha..

Have been going around some places alone and found some really cool stuff.. Wished darlings were here with me and we could have fun at the same time.. Got so much stuff to share with them!!

There's so many things I wanna do and I'm sure darling would like to do too:

1) Snow skiing at Pocono Mountains
2) Indulge in Amish culture at Lancaster County
3) Explore King of Prussia Mall
4) Chill out at cool funky restaurants!

But sigh.. they're not here but hope they'll come here one day and soon!!!

I really miss them so much. I have so much to share with them, have so many problems I wanna talk about but albeit all the technology available, there's just so much I can convey... Technology is dead but emotions are not and I can't put them down in words...

There's still so much struggle within me that I can't seem to calm down many times. So much that I just want to scream it off or just head down by Penn's Landing and just listen to the calm river but I just don't have the time!!! Realized that it's passed mid October and in another 2 month's time, semester's ending and I still have so much assignments and projects to complete.. Grades aren't up to my expectation at all and I'm so utterly disappointed in myself.. Many times, opportunities have slipped past me when I could just reach out and grab it... I feel so stupid and useless and tired at the same time..

I really felt like giving up at times but I'm halfway through.. There are so many motivations but I'm far from them and I'm really getting tired and overwhelmed..

I need so much of God's love and strength and wisdom and knowledge.. I need so much that I don't know if.............................................

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