haiz.. attended cousin desmond's wedding just now.. desmond is my dad's younger brother's son.. daddy was supposed to go but due to a family grudge that happened years back and a grudge that nearly cost my dad's financial and life, i suppose he'll never be forgiven?? things are not that simple.. my dad was seriously and badly accused..

if its about face, seriously my dad doesn't care.. but if he's terribly accused and some ppl just have to pass the wrong message to more and more ppl, that, i'm sure no one can take it.. of course, if it happens to me, i'll also blow my top even though there are good friends who knows that i'm being accused.. and i'm very thankful for these friends.. but what about my dad's good friends, even they can tell him to help his brother! WTF!!! my dad has been helping all these while but has anyone of you literally appreciate him? did anyone of you help in return? did you really treat him as part of family??

seriously, i've never wanted to talk about this coz what for?? its all over.. things have already turned this way.. what can the next generation do.. only the elders, his family and my family knows what went wrong...

uncle was feeling apologetic somehow i can feel it.. but y dun u appologise straight in front of my dad, someone whom you can even confess that we are your GEGE's children.. the grudge is between you and my dad.. there's no way we can convey your feelings to him coz seriously, we dunno the real thing..

daddy told me about the problem before, when recalling back, he was so angry, so frustrated, so pissed off, so blown up!.. i've never seen daddy like this before.. not even to us, his children, but he did that to his brothers, his very own brothers who din trust in him, who din help him at all..

seems like $$ is everything.. indeed $$ cant buy happiness.. its because of $$ that caused the family breakdown in between.. its coz of $$ that my dad's being accused. its coz of $$ that my dad had to live with this pain, this scar forever! i dun feel sad for you uncle, i really dun.. somehow, i wanted to cry just now when you said all those for my dad.. these tears are for my dad, for the pain, for the scar, for the discrimination, for the accusations, for all the bad things he has to bear from the looks of others who knows NOTHING, who knows CRAP, who knows the LIE!! can you feel the pain, can you feel the burning fire, can you feel the sadness in him, someone whom he always regarded as a brother in no matter how bad you are to him?? can you really feel how he feels??

mom says next time when 3 of us get married, you wun be invited.. but you know what? no matter how they reject or oppose the decision, we will still wan you to come.. y? coz you're still our uncle, somehow your blood also flows in us.. we respect you for you are our uncle.. but i'll never respect you for the pain you've caused to my dad and mum... i wan to be a good christian, a forgiving christian, but i dun think i can coz the pain, the physical, realistic, right-in-front-of-my-eyes sadness and scar and anger i see in my dad...

i do wan to tell my dad to let bygones be bygones, he doesnt want us to follow his footsteps and i promise we wun.. but yet i do hope to see him happy for once.. literally happy.. i know he's not coz he can still recall the pain.. the scar is there forever.. it'll never heal.. he's old already.. he will not live for long.. he will have to go sooner or later but can he at least leave happily?? i know he wun not because of the kids, but coz of the scar, somehow i know he still cares about you, he still loves you but unless you say it out face to face, there's no way he can forget the pain..i know it wun be easy but i know things will be better.. you're a christian, you go to church, you should know this better than i do, you should know how to react, what to do, everything.. there's no way that me, or my brother or my sister can do anything.. we wan but we cant...

please, can things end on a happy note for all of us? will this family grudge ever end? will my dad ever be really happy and peaceful once again??

for my 4th uncle-in-law, i promise to work hard and be strong to work my way through and not let daddy work so hard.. i promise..

to uncle, i love you too but somehow there's pain in this love..

to daddy, please take good care, i really love you and want to see you happy again.. i promise to work hard and not to let you worry anymore.. i promise to be a good girl =D

(0) comments